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Issue 15/12: Guillemard Road Closure Conspiracy Theories..

In Current Issue on September 17, 2012 at 8:33 pm

I’ve gotten into a cocoon of late and not inspired to write, Not when Panda-mania (see Issue 8/12) finally comes to town, Not when William and Kate a-cometh to town – after Harry’s hilarious stunt and preceding yet another paparazzi stunt, Not when F1 Formula Race is again coming to town..  Yawn.  But today is exciting..

The Guillemard Road Closure Mystery

My dad came home wondering aloud why he had to make a detour to get to old airport road as the convenient guillemard road – popular for reasons more than one, including the Red Lantern variety – is closed.  It was all very mysterious.  Even the TV news wouldn’t say and tell people to go to the Internet instead.

Speculation #1.. 

With the world in a turmoil protest-here protest-there mood right now, the first suspicion must be a terrorist incident! Oh no!  Why else so hush-hush?!  But they say check the Internet..

Speculation #2..

Or Mas Selamat has escaped again!  And went a-hiding in Geylang?!  So the authorities are too malu (“shame” in Malay) to announce again like the last time when the news was kept from the public for a long while initially..  But it would have been a total news blackout..

Speculation #3..

Er.. the umpteenth dignitary coming to Singa-land and er.. making a clandestine visit to Geylang?  Doesn’t sound plausible however desperate the authorities are to push Singapore as an “exciting” destination and get rid of our “boring” reputation.  They’d have to come up with a new label for the sleeze first, ala “Integrated Resorts” (see Issue 9/14).

Mystery Solved !!

Aiya.. What?!  It’s just another war relic found at the junction of Lorong 22 Geylang and Guillemard Road.  But dig this, the SINGAPORE ARMED FORCES’ CHEMICAL BIOLOGICAL RADIOLOGICAL AND EXPLOSIVES DEFENCE GROUP aka SAF CBRE is attending to the incident.  No wonder the TV newscasters are keeping mum.. they just can’t pronounce the darn long mouthful of a government department’s name without flubbing hahaha.. The Chinese news probably can’t find the translation either tee hee..

And thus the Great Singapore Mystery today is solved.  Amen.

Issue 14/12: News Conundrum

In Current Issue on August 18, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Is it me or is the news getting too deja vu?  Into messy puzzles with no end in sight..

1. The Story of Singapore’s Public Transport

Breakdown -> Sorry -> We can do better -> Enquiry -> Fine -> Delay -> Sorry -> We can communicate better  -> Breakdown -> Sorry -> We can..

2. One Tiger Cannot Hold Two Mountains, or is it Three?

Singapore OCBC + Dutch Heineken (+Jap Kirin) = Tiger

Thai Beverage + Dutch Heineken (+Jap Kirin) = Tiger

Dutch Heineken (+Jap Kirin) = Tiger

Thai Beverage (+Jap Kirin) = Tiger

Dutch Heineken (+Jap Kirin) = Tiger

The tiger must be very confused about its citizenship by now..

3. CPIB Probe Downgraded

From Front Page ‘Greatest Corruption Scandal’ news in Singapore, news of the trial date has been relegated to page 10 of ST today with teeny-weeny headlines.  Seems the case is not even newsworthy anymore in a mere 2 months (see Issue 12/12), such is our high ‘tolerance’ after being bombarded left right centre with  such news aplenty.  It’s as commonplace as the train breakdown these days.  Yawn..

4. How to Fix a Gambling Knot

Singapore = casinos = social ills => exclusion order curb ban..

It just doesn’t add up when the root remains.

5. The Meaning of Inverse Proportion

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6. The Curse Glory of the Olympics

Lastly, on the political sports front, London Olympics was an expected disaster unexpected success and the Olympics will continue the greek tragedy samba run to Rio.  Good luck to the South Americans.  The British breathed a collective sigh of relief, and hey! they’ve got a medal tally record to show for it, but now less get back to complaining about the Prime Minister..  I have to say though, thank you for the unexpected entertainment!

Issue 13/12: Sports and Entertainment Issue

In Current Issue on August 2, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Yes I just feel like lightening up.. away from all the one-after-another salacious soap operas going on in our courts these days.  I really spoke too soon after the first one (see Issue 12/12).  Tsk tsk.. where are our morals going to these day?!  But going back to wholesomeness..


2 words: Thank you.  Ignore the naysayers.   You’ve shut them off when you were struggling with form and have got a nation’s weight on your shoulders.  All the more when you’ve done the job you can forget about them.  It’s the result that matters.  Tan Howe Liang would be most grateful to you.  Henceforth it is your name that will be repeated in Singapore sports history, hopefully not for another 52 years.  Those of us safe in our armchairs and comfort zone jobs and do not have the talent or guts to pursue sporting dreams, just shut up.  If you want to criticise, allow your child to pursue his or her passion whether in sports, music or arts, and see how far passion can take them.

Two years ago when I was travelling in Spain, a nation very proud of its sports and at the very forefront in soccer and tennis amongst others, I was asked what Singapore is good at.  I was tongue-tied for a full minute until I remember our table tennis world champions at the time, thanks to Feng and her teammates, not forgetting the then Chinese coach who pulled it off but who was, unceremoniously, and I would think rather ungratefully, forced to leave soon after.  Such is the sad state of our sports environment.  Yes we are not very good at gratitude here.  But I do believe that most of us, not necessarily the vocal ones, are thanking you, Feng, from the bottom of our hearts.  Well done.


Ah.. my idol is 50 this year.  And still as suave as ever.  But what really made my heart jump is his announcement that he is lightening up and going to do brighter and cheerful roles from now onwards.  Yeah!!  The old Tony Leung is back.  Thanks or no thanks to Wong Kar-Wai the auteur director who brought out Tony’s best in a number of award-winning roles but also kept him away from the limelight for years with each of his never-ending multi-year art film oft with no release date in sight, I sure miss the Tony Leung of old who enchanted me with his unforgettable free-spirited definitive interpretation of that cheeky flirty Wei Xiaobao in that old TVB drama adaptation of Jin Yong’s last wuxia novel eons ago, and continued to charm over and over again when he moved to movies just by appearing and lightening up the screen with his charisma every time he appears however lousy the rest of the movie, and cast, may be.  Those days he still did comedies occasionally between the heavy stuff.  Then came the longer and longer Wong productions and Tony just seems to be in seclusion most of the time, apart from his wedding of the century with Carina Lau a few years ago, that got remote Bhutan so popular that even my hairdresser wants to go.  I am so looking forward to his return to lighter stuff, or to his appearance at all.  At last there is reason to go back to the cinema halls for Chinese films again.


Haha.. this one not so wholesome.  But he is also 50 this year.  And strangely, he is a part of my entertainment memories for as long as I can remember.  Still looking as youthful as ever, 3 divorces later.  Yes zee Tom Cruise is charming in person.  I have never seen Tony Leung in person, but I have caught Cruise when he was in Singapore eons ago, promoting a forgettable film which I can’t remember the name now, but he came fresh from his last, I mean 2nd last divorce, with a Spanish starlet on his arms.  We were holed up upstairs at Isetan Shaw House by the red carpet for the longest time very tired and bothered because the man was very late.  Later I was to learn that he had spent a lot of time  with the fans downstairs that added to the delay.  And much later I was to meet an American guy while backpacking in South Africa who was actually in the downstairs crowd that fateful day in Singapore but that is another story.

Anyway all was forgotten once Cruise appeared, with a handsome sincere smile, not as short as rumoured, and extremely warm to the fans, picking up a fallen pen here and very obliging to us like an old friend rather than Hollywood star.  Such was his sway that my friend simply declared that Nicole must have been the one at fault.  And yes, people are taking sides again.  I like Nicole a lot but I cannot say the same about Katie, nothing to do with rights or wrongs, or for that matter, scientology.  There are always 2 sides to a coin and especially in a marriage relationship, only those two will know.  Quite simply, one was a talented actress, and the other?  I cannot forgive for being the only spoiler in an otherwise brilliant Batman trilogy.  So there.  I wasn’t particularly a fan of Cruise, but he did make some enjoyable movies.  And you have to give the man credit for some of his work, and for looking good ;p  And for providing us mere mortals with fodder gossip in this otherwise staid world of boring bad news, and for a coincidental collective memory to identify with when chatting with a fellow traveller in a foreign land.

Yes, if anything, personalities and celebrities brighten up our lives.  And etch themselves into our collective memories.  I just watched a very interesting HK TVB serial When Heaven Burns the other day – the  best one to come along these days when I am more addicted to drama of the Korean variety.  A character said that memories are meant for appreciation, not for hiding from the present.  So I say cherish the happy moments that these 3 bring to us.  Thank you for the memories 🙂