How did 2011 pass by so quickly? Anyway with all the papers doing crystal-gazing, I thought I’d do a piece on the news I don’t wanna see in 2012 by these very same papers ;p In countdown style in keeping with the NY mood..
10. THE DREADED ‘D’ WORD
We used to be known as E-city, as in Efficiency (read in French manner). But today, we have become D-city. The most fatigue word that we dread to hear from officialdom is Disruption (read: Breakdown). Which equals Delay (read: Stuck indefinitely). After a round of finger-pointing, all in one direction to the moneymaking scapegoat tsk tsk, and having a certain CEO spoof-ed left right centre, what do we get from all this? The nervy commuter going “Ahh.. breakdown!” whenever there is a bump on the train. Everybody went to take bus instead.. darn didn’t know it was possible for them to get even more crowded?! And for the brave, and rich, ones, follow the example of one dr who managed to trigger all the invisible surcharges in one infamous taxi trip from Tanjong Pagar to Woodlands. For such a dangerous endeavour, remember to follow my CPR advisory mah ;p (see Issue 6/11)
9. PUBLIC TRANSPORT FARE INCREASE
Unless our wise leaders (they better be in commensuration with the remuneration) totally misreads the ground tolerance, I daresay we won’t see this one too soon. If you must increase, make sure your CEO isn’t caught in a spoof-able D&D shot.
8. STOCK MARKET CRASH
One wonders whether this is still possible, although all the naysayers are predicting this – after the fact. After all, logically, what has crashed would have disintegrated, so how to crash some more, again and again? The papers need a new vocabulary, yawn..
7. WATER SURPLUS
I know it’s life-giving, it provides relief from our dreaded hot weather, it’s better than having to drink Newater.. but we probably had one storm too many this year. As the Liat Towers basement shops who received half the month’s ‘blessings’ in 3 hours will attest to.
6. BODIES SUPRLUS
Apart from the grinning taxi folks who are only too happy to have their fare increase limelight being overtaken by the train folks with the outstanding D debacle, the next happiest folks around must be the Bedok Reservoir residents.. haha. For the reprieve, or rather, lack of new XX surfacing ;p (See Inaugural Issue).
5. ANOTHER BOOKSTORE CLOSES
Do we really read that little? Have we lost the joy of flipping a real book? It’s an irony that I’m typing this, not writing, on the PC, not on paper. But I still do like the feel of paper, of holding a pen, or of a brush when I paint. I am in love with Muji paper products. When I travel, I carry a real paper notebook, not the IT namesake which incidentally is already going out of fashion. I am also most inspired by crafts people I met recently who made books, handmade stitched ones. But I fear we are losing a new generation who have amazingly dexterous fingers on the IT gadget but can’t write in ink to save their lives. Sigh.
4. FACEBOOK ‘UPGRADES’
I know this is an irritating thing that will happen with any IT media, after you are completely used to it. Changes purportedly to keep up, or fence off, the competitors. But the latest FB cluttered interface completely turns me off. Do I need a moving timeline that tells me what my 101th FB contact is doing by the second? And who decides what is important for me to read? I don’t see, or rather can’t find, the interesting stuff anymore and am inundated with things I don’t want to know. It is one thing to influence consumers into ‘needing’ a new lifestyle gadget like what Steve Jobs did (see Issue 6/11), but quite another to play God Pleasantville-style. Beware that users may just revolt and leave the FB universe altogether. Like socialising in the real world instead, at a bookstore ;p
3. MEDIA WAR NEWS NOT
It was entertaining to read the underlying innuendos and underground currents when there was still a semblance to appear objective for the reporting on the court battle between S and Y! (See Issue 4/11). But when the plaintiff papers goes and publishes an entire page setting out its case in affidavit style against the defendants media with the tendered evidence reproduced, it is crossing the line not only of good taste but also bordering on contempt I believe. I just lost any interest to read. Bullies, bullies, nay nay..
2. QUAN YIFENG GETTING INTO TROUBLE
Again. We are not exactly Hollywood but it does get tiresome to read about the television hostess’ antics. Although she would probably have more sympathy votes if she had destroyed the taxi fare meter for a better reason, like invisible surcharges ;p
1. FIRST BABY NEWS
This one is from a reader.. “One of my ‘pet’ news is the reporting of first baby of the new year or first baby of the new chinese new year. In some years, such ‘news’ made it to the front-page, no less. I used to wonder – why do I need to know this?” Er.. invisible political agenda to encourage babies production?
Okay that’s all, folks. Happy 2012. Although I fear, alas for my poor reader, that #1 is going to come true tomorrow..
The Irreverent Times 